2012 EOD Memorial Ceremony honors fallen warriors

2012 EOD Memorial Ceremony honors fallen warriors

is it happy or crappy heart day?

Keep the explosions at work

So friend, what are your thoughts on Valentines day? Do you get excited or bitter? Are you joyfully celebrating or trying to forget? I know for a long time I had it all wrong and I was bitter. Every commercial showing velvety roses and gooey assorted chocolates was a reminder that I was lacking something. I would become cynical at the romance movies.

What was my problem? I guess you could say it all came down to fear. I had an idea or saw someone else's interpretation of love in action and noted each time that mine looked different. My fear was that he didn't care about me. I feared it so much that I made a full time job of looking for it.  I threw those hurts in my heart at my husband and he interpreted it in ways that said " he did not have what it takes" . That kind of stuff keeps a guy from trying.

Warrior has said things in the past like " I just can't win" and I hated hearing that. You know something, it was true. If he did do something I graded it too small or felt in my attitude that if he loved me he would have went an extra mile. I showed ungratefulness and I didn't make him feel like a hero.

He wasn't perfect and he has made mistakes. But my expectations were far too grand. I expected him to do what only God can do for me. To know me deeply and anticipate my needs. To rescue me from myself and think ahead and warn me. To have a plan and to never fail. What I am describing is a Savior not a husband.

Now that I fully know the difference I can really celebrate a deep love for my husband. I am more in love with warrior than I ever was. I am trying hard to stop my expectations and just see him as he is. He is incredible. I still battle that fear, but I take it to God.

I will show you what that looks like:
Lord,
I feel forgotten and unloved. I don't understand why my husband didn't think about (be specific here). Show me how to be a wife with this situation, it really hurts and stinks. Open my eyes and if I am wrong show me. Make this marriage as you want it.
In Jesus' name,
Amen

Can I tell you that more than once God has rocked my world after something like that! Give him your stuff. He wants it and he can make something really beautiful out of the ugly. Give him the deep fears and hurts because He and only He can make something brand new.

Check out this link: http://www.incourage.me/?author=31 the author Ann Voskamp gets a woman's heart. She is a huge overcomer and speaks hope into marriage. This link explains too well why we get so angry and what we are really saying. Love her!

Lord,
I am specifically asking for blessing for the hearts of the wives that love these EOD  men. You know where each one of them are and what they are dealing with. Help us to see our husbands with Your eyes. Lord sometimes all we see are commercials and romance movies and not a real breathing person that You love. Restore our thinking when it has gone wrong. Bless these homes and let these ladies see the love that you and their husbands have for them.
In Jesus' name,
Amen

Warrior, if you are reading this. I need to say that you are my hero and I am so sorry for holding you to expectations that I invented. I love you and I like who you are.

Initial sucess or total failure?

This familiar motto does not describe my marriage. I heard on the radio (www.lote./) this week that the divorce rate after deployment is now at 80%.
It hit me in very deep places. In places not frequently talked about. Places of truth. It so could've been me. Yes, we were that close. But we overcame and we were renewed. I want to scream at people that it is possible. To tell them that God is bigger than this and it can be fixed. Do you feel like your marriage is a failure? I have been there. Praying hope and wanting to send you encouragement. I get the hardship of an EOD marriage, at least from the wife side. It can be good and I plan to show you how. Will you renew your mind?

Lord,
You are bigger than statistics and You desire to rebuild families. Give hope to any EOD marriage that is ready to give up. Speak Your healing restoration into hurting hearts. All this is possible with you.
In Jesus name,
Amen

Believe me friend, whatever you are facing it can be good. Maybe not easy but good.

learning

Recently my husband and I were in a room filled with people who had been on deployments. We each had the chance to talk about the experiences from active duty/spouse perspective. We never shared rank or job. I really wanted to. As others talked about their hardships it was clear to me that we had it longer or harder. I have a big problem with this from time to time.
After the event my husband and I got real about our issues.

Why do we feel angry when this stuff comes up. Sometimes it doesn't sound fair. Sometimes we want compensated. Sometimes we feel that people just don't get it. We tend to nurse that wound and it keeps us divided from others. God knows what He has called us to do and He has been so faithful in our every need. I know I need to stop comparing.

Matthew 5:3
Blessed is the poor in spirit, for theirs is the kingdom of heaven.

Blessed means more than being happy. It is something that is beyond our circumstances. Poor in spirit is the opposite of what I described of myself here. It is not being all about me. It is not downgrading others.

God showed me that there are people in fear and pain and it doesn't matter how they got there. What matters is that He can fix it if we let Him.

Lord,
I pray that you soften my heart to others. I struggle with this sometimes. I know that You are in my situation and that You have a plan. Fill me with a compassion that only comes from You. I ask that You bless all the EOD people and wherever they are running let it be to You. You are bigger than anything we face.
In Jesus' name,
Amen

waiting

Are you waiting with anticipation to open gifts? Or maybe for something else.... I have a friend so very anxious to have her baby in her arms for the very first time. Are you like me anxiously awaiting the reunion with your spouse?

Thinking about that makes me wonder about those people for centuries that waited for a savior and yearned to be reconciled with God. He came, for real. We celebrate that by waiting for our gifts as a symbol of those waiting for the savior to be born.
I believe that God is waiting for us to receive Him. Our yearning for things can not compare to His yearning for us. He loves you that much and He is waiting.

Isaiah 9:2-6 (ESV)
5(K) For every boot of the tramping warrior in battle tumult and every garment rolled in blood will be burned as fuel for the fire.6(L) For to us a child is born, to us(M) a son is given;(N) and the government shall be(O) upon[b] his shoulder, and his name shall be called[c]Wonderful(P) Counselor,(Q) Mighty God, (R) Everlasting(S) Father, Prince of(T) Peace.

Lord,
I pray for EOD families everywhere to see You this Christmas. I pray that they see the effects of Your miracles in their lives. Help us all push past the daily stuff to see what is real and important. Open our eyes to those that may be hurting so that we can show them kindness. Show us how to accept the gift of Your HUGE love and remove things that keep us from You. I just pray a covering over this population of people. Let them live as the dearly loved children that they are.
In Jesus' name,
Amen

We still Hold These Truths

weak belief

How is it that God can move huge mountain in my life and show me His power and down the road I can doubt. In that moment of victory I feel I will never again be afraid or insecure. Then again in a new situation I try to budge a big rock in my own strength forgetting that the battle is His and He cares.

1 Peter 5:6 Humble yourselves, therefore, under God's mighty hand, that he may lift you up in due time. Cast all your anxiety on him because he cares for you.

Lord,
Help us to measure our obstacles against Your strength and not our own. Grow our belief where it is weak and show us Your truth.
In Jesus' name,
Amen